-Jerry
>From: johnw_-_AT_-_abyss.corp.inmet.com
>Date: Thu, 04 Apr 1996 00:38:02 EST
>To: atlarge_-_AT_-_Plainsboro.COM
>Subject: ATLARGE Trip Report (Poetic)
>
>Well, everyone who has posted since the conclusion of ATLARGE has pretty much
>expressed my sentiments regarding the event, so I figured I should add a little
>entertainment value of my own. If I can't place in the money, I might as well
>enjoy some of the "intangibles" produced by the NL Holdem tourney.
>
>Soooooo, I strung together a few rhyming couplets based on my experience at
>Saturday's No-Limit Holdem Tourney. I haven't figured out a title, although
>I was thinking of calling it simply "No Balls", since that's pretty much what
>cost me a finish in the money. If anyone has any ideas, I'd be interested in
>hearing them. But first, the obligatories: Jazbo-helluva job. I hope you'll
>do it again next year. EVERYONE: Great group of guys. I'm proud (sniff) to
>be part of r.g.p. Our presence projected a force (+++ positive +++) throughout
>the poker room at Resorts that probably hasn't been felt since it opened three
>years ago. This was *by far* the most fun I've had in AC, despite being
>hampered by a relentlessly nagging chest cold all weekend. I wish that we
>could do this several times a year, although I suppose if we restrict it to
>twice a year each event will seem more special. BRAVO, r.g.p'ers.
>
>OK, here's the tale of Mookie at Merv's:
>
I've got to say that this stuff exceeds even Lee Jones' poetic contribution
to the WRGPT5 Participants' Bio sketches,... which went something like:
There once was a fellow named Lee
Who went on a long suck-out spree.
When the dust finally cleared
And the crowd duly cheered
It was seen he'd won WRGPT!
>
> I trudge into Merv's poker room in a stupor
> With a chest full of phlegm and a head full of 'Buca
> Been coughin' and wheezin' and blowin' my nose
> I'm a sleep-deprived wreck! Better stay on my toes
>
> It's ten a.m. and time for the tourney
> If I feel any worse I'll send for a gurney
> No-limit Holdem! Not exactly my game
> But what the hell--it's still cards, just the same
>
> I find my table and order a coffee
> Perhaps I'll be surrounded by softies
> But hell no! It's Jazbo, Dalla, Gerner and Bwana
> Sit down at this table? I really don't wanna.
>
> Yet I pull out my Buddha to rest on the felt
> With hopes that my stack won't immediately melt
> I start somewhat slowly, nothing playable to be seen
> Then in late position, I'm dealt Ace-Queen
>
> The flop is a monster! An Ace with two Ladies
> For Jerry Gerner, this board came straight from Hades
> Jerry checks, I check ("Better let him catch up")
> Then the turn brings a dream card for Mookie - Yup!
>
> It's a five: Jerry's turned a Presto full boat
> He bets half his stack. I call, my head afloat
> The river's a King, not exactly a blank
> But Jerry puts me all-in, and his stack takes a spank
>
Yes, I remember this one well :(
Nice slowplay on that flop John. I got two "presto" hands during the
weekend. One flopped into a (winning) set. And then there was this one.
> And lo and behold! Table chip leader--how's that?
> A mere minnow among sharks, and in need of a nap
> Consolidation occurs; I look up with great disdain
> As I see Woods, Rosenblum, and some huge dude named "Pain"
>
> Bigger stacks on my left, but I'm still not complaining
> 'Cause at the break I'm eighth, with seventeen remaining
>
>
> Up to my room I find myself madly rushin'
> I snarf down a Chunky and gulp Robitussin
> Anxiety reigns! My thoughts are random and crude
> As I climb toward the pinnacle of gambling geekitude
>
> Back to the table; I've got to play tight
> No problem--Gerner's raising relentlessly from the right
Always want to have the maniac to the right of you, eh? :)
> A few more bustouts, then what do I find?
> Mr. Big Slick: Ace-King, on my next big blind
>
> Jeff raises on the button-he's about twice my stack
> So I contemplate a counterattack
> I consider all-in, but that seems half-crazed
> Instead, I foolishly toss a minimum re-raise
>
> Jeff calls, here's the flop, and it ain't what I was wishin':
> It's a Ten and two Threes, and I'm out of position
> I check, and Jeff bets more than half of my pile
> Gotta fold. Now I'm crippled, but I might last a while
>
> Round and round go the blinds, and I feel uncertain
> My confidence is gone, and my stack is hurtin'
> I fold pocket sixes, I fold King-Jack
> My weak-tight play ain't gonna get it back
>
> Finally, the big blind takes me all-in
> And Woods raises--seems like deja vu all over again
> We expose: I'm King-Six versus Jeff's Ace-Eight
> This is probably the hand that will seal my fate
>
> The flop brings an Ace, but the turn is a King
> I've still got some outs; what will the turn bring?
> Not a miracle card--it's a blank, it's a stone
> It's a dud, it's a rock--it's a dog-do snowcone
>
> Gazing toward the middle at an unfriendly board
> I lament to Tiger, who nods and records
> "Twelfth place doesn't pay", I weakly grumbled
> And that's the way that Mookie crumbled
>
>
>
>If I had had the stones to jam Jeff with AK, I'd have gotten my stack up over
>$2K instead of going down under $1K, and I'd have placed. Or busted out
>immediately, since Jeff had KTs and a ten flopped. (I'd better stop now,
>since Kyle and Tiger have heard this more than once already).
>
>Trip comments: Excellent dealers at Merv's, especially Aimee, the black guy
>who laughs like a bird (name?), and the Madonna-looking woman (the one who
>along with Tiger and myself was at the table and observed Jim Strydio's
>Cherry Tomato Ejaculation--all over the felt, seeds in a straight line,
>basically an impressive display of consumption at the card table).
>
>Worst bad beat: 5/10/15 stud, deuces full on fifth w/trips *ON BOARD*, finish
>third and lose three big bets on the river (absolutely had to call, no respect
>for re-raiser).
>
>Worst tourney hand: Busted out of Stud tourney when Ross (Flush Machine)
>Poppel runs FOUR SPADES to fiver my two pair. Ross: why did you call fifth
>street? ;-(
>
>Ring Game Action:
>
>STUD: + 485
>HOLDEM: + 115
>STEAK SOUP: + 2 UNITS
>SAMBUCA: + 3 UNITS
>
>I hope that y'all enjoyed my tale; I also hope that this text wraps ok.
>
>Looking forward to the next ATLARGE!!
>
>John Walsh (Mookie)
>
Great trip report John!